Well, well, well...
     It has certainly been a long time since my last posting. Not that anyone reads this anyway. It's just a very busy time in my life right now. Remember how I said that I was a passionate musician? Well i'm student teaching now and i've never been quite so busy! Busy, but satisfying is how I would describe the experience. I get up at painful hours in the morning to drive over an hour to teach students in grades 5-12 music. A dream come true! Sort of. I'm not getting paid for this as I am a student teacher. This is a requirement that I must fulfill to obtain my degree.
     I am learning a ton of information that I would not anywhere else, however. I'm nitpicking out small, but detrimental quirks in my personality and mannerisms that are a hindrance to my role as a leader. I am becoming a more organized individual as well. It's just that i'm broke and at 2 on the energy meter all the time. Practice is not something that I often have the time for. On the other hand, it makes me value the time that I do have to practice much, MUCH, more.
     I learn so much watching the children as well. What stunts your growth and prohibits you from being included in some peoples' social circles? Now I can say with much more confidence that I do know what can hold one back. In school, you see all types of social interactions. Distinct personality types. One of the first to really strike me, when I first observed it, is the aversive personality type. Perhaps it is because it is close to what I was. The student I noticed (let's call him "Ashton") really bothered me at first. In percussion ensemble, he would always play by ear. He was just capable enough to be able to play what he needed to, but the skills that he had were not necessarily ones that transfer. He was aversive reading music in such a way that would help him to read in the future. That faith that he could prevail with his existing skills is flawed, isn't it? That he could just survive with the tools he has already attained? Hmmmm... It all sounds pretty familiar to me. I know i've thought that way more than once. He doesn't realize how that stunts his growth though. He hopes that perseverance will carry him past his peers and into outer significance.
     Not so. In believing in himself so strongly, he loses faith in the world around him. He will not fully accept advice from experts around him. He believes his inner compass is true. It could be. Or it might not and he might progress in life frustrated by the unmet need of his delusions of grandeur. It all sounds so familiar. I wish I could tell him and have him believe that trust in his peers will not detract from who he is and that it will in fact, accelerate his growth. As long as he believes and lives as if truth is intrinsic,   he will never achieve the greatness he seeks. More trust is required. I wish I could impress that on him.
    There are many other cases that have provided insight into why things are as they are socially. Topics for later conversation.